‘Scary Movie’ review: parody reboot is horrifyingly unfunny

Do you like parodies that barely function as actual movies and aren’t really funny either? Then you are squarely in the target audience for the sixth instalment in the horror send-up series that kicked off with 2000’s Scary Movie. The last one, released in 2013, was so bad it almost killed a franchise that grossed close to $900m. Naturally, then, we’re in reboot territory, with this latest film the first to involve the original creators since 2001’s Scary Movie 2.

There’s a sense of occasion about the Wayans family rising up to take charge of the script again. Well, let’s just say it doesn’t last. The plot – to use that word extremely generously – follows the inevitable return of Ghostface, who begins targeting the offspring of characters from the first movie. This leads the gang of mostly unmemorable kids to round up the adults, bringing Cindy (Anna Faris), Brenda (Regina Hall), Shorty (Marlon Wayans) and Officer Doofy (Dave Sheridan) back into the fold.

All of this happens so quickly it feels as if there’s a chunk of the movie missing, though it’s unlikely anyone cares – including, apparently, the filmmakers themselves. To be fair, there’s a good amount of self-reflexive ribbing, with a nicely barbed gag about the script (which borrows its set-up from 2022’s Scream reboot and last year’s Final Destination Bloodlines) exploiting horror nostalgia. As ever, the film is really just an excuse to string together a bunch of cinematic in-jokes, meaning it lives or dies on the strength of its sketches.

The result is a slow death that drags even at 96 minutes, despite director Michael Tiddes’ best efforts to keep things moving. You’d think the so-called ‘elevated horror’ of arty genre movies such as Get Out and Hereditary would leave the Wayans crew with plenty to skewer. In fact, a spoof of the former movie spirals into a KPop Demon Hunters riff so bizarre it left the audience scratching their heads at the screening NME attended. A Sinners parody falls similarly flat – but don’t worry: the pulpy likes of the Halloween reboot and Terrifier 3 come in for a lukewarm roasting, too.

On the plus side, Teyana Taylor helps to summon the aforementioned sense of occasion in a surprisingly effective cold open, a movie-within-a-movie that leads one character to eye-roll that film parodies are little more than “celebrity cameos and fart gags”. Saturday Night Live’s Kenan Thompson can’t quite lift a toothless Michael sketch, but there’s a decent Weapons bit and a punchline involving the Wayans’ 2004 comedy White Chicks that received an uproarious response at our screening, suggesting there’s still a lot of love for the family.

The clan have attempted to freshen up the formula by setting their sights on all things ‘woke’ and have managed to do so without being mean-spirited. “My family don’t punch down on people,” Marlon Wayans recently told Empire. “We’re very inclusive in our comedy.” He’s right and that’s to their credit, but it doesn’t make the film any funnier.