The song I wish I’d written
Nat King Cole – ‘Smile’
“Most people perceive me to be the man that’s chewing the proverbial wasp, but the one thing I do when it really goes bad… I often smile in the worst situations. Sometimes it’s a nervous thing, and sometimes it’s a conscious thing. I’ve often used this song at the worst moments – y’know, 18-hour patrols and your feet are hanging off; when you’re worried about being shot dead or blown up. It sounds pathetic but it does work.”
The song that reminds me of home
The Kinks – ‘Waterloo Sunset’
“I went out to Afghanistan virtually every year from 2007 through to about 2012 [to film a TV show]. From Battersea, in my house, I could be in a war zone within 12 hours. When I’d get home there was no decompression. So I used to go for a walk down The Embankment as soon as I got home, just to adjust myself. This song connects me to a band that I love and a view that I love of London.”
The song I can no longer listen to
Kraftwerk – ‘Autobahn’
“About three years ago, we were in Libya. We [Kemp and his documentary crew] were held at gunpoint for 24 hours, effectively kidnapped – and the guy I was with played ‘Autobahn’ more than 50 times. I was just saying: ‘If they do come in and shoot us, I’m going to make sure they shoot you first.’ We really were in a bad situation – and he wanted me to understand the lyrics! It’s someone saying ‘bahn bahn on the autobahn’. I don’t get it. I’m never going to get it and I never want to hear it as long as I live. The more it wound me up the more he laughed and the more I laughed.”
The song that changed my life
Jay-Z feat. Alicia Keys – ‘Empire State of Mind’
“I was in Haiti filming the repercussions of the earthquake – it was brutal. It was a hardcore time in my life. But I met my wife-to-be in New York on the way home. That morning, I went down to the diamond market and I bought a diamond. I went down on one knee and asked her to marry me as this song was being played. It changed my life. We had a pianist come in and play it at our wedding.”
The first song I remember hearing
Sweet – ‘The Ballroom Blitz’
“I remember singing this out in the street in Rainham, Essex. [Sweet] were just different – I remember one of the band had a First World War German helmet on. This was very much the time of the Philips cassette player. We had a selection of hits from the ‘70s and my brother and I would go on holiday to Wales [with our parents] – and we’d be allowed to have ‘our time’ on the Philips cassette player.”
The first album I owned
The Stranglers – ‘No More Heroes’
“This was the first album I ever bought. On the same day, I also bought ‘Jazz’ by Queen. It was in a record shop in Brentwood, Essex. I remember it clearly because my French pen friend had come over to visit and he and my brother had disappeared and left me on my own. I was a bit of a plastic punk, the third album I ever bought was ‘Anarchy in the U.K.’. I’ve still got it. I wasn’t really aware of what punk meant, we had no idea what we were doing.”
The first gig I went to
Adam & the Ants, Chancellor Hall, Chelmsford, 1979
“I was doing my O Levels and four or five of us from my class decided to go. It was my first foray into street culture, in terms of mods, rockers and punks. I remember he walked out on stage and said: ‘where are we?’ like ‘I’m so cool!’ I remember he had two drummers – that was cool. The rest of the night was but a blur for a 14-year-old with a can of cider.”
The song I want played at my funeral
Chic – ‘Le Freak (C’est Chic)’
“I thought maybe Chic because I loved dancing to it as a kid. But I don’t want a funeral. And I don’t really want a song played either. I want people to have a good time. Have a party afterwards and play what you like. I’m not going to be able to listen to it!”
The song I do at karaoke
Nat King Cole – ‘L-O-V-E’
“Like anyone who trained three years in musical comedy I think I can sing a bit. Before I started landing the straight roles – because of the way I looked – I was a dancer and singer. I sang this at my wedding with a full band. It was off-the-cuff – and I’d had a few wines by then.”
The song I listen to before going on stage
Queen – ‘Don’t Stop Me Now’
“It started off at drama school when I had a yellow Sony Walkman. I used to listen to this a lot when I was doing the big acting roles. It’s a good revver to get you in the mood before you step out.”
Ross Kemp’s podcast, ‘The Kempcast’, is available now on all major podcast platforms