In Stranger Things, which Hawkins resident sings and dances along to your 1987 chart-topping cover of ‘I Think We’re Alone Now’?
“Gosh, why I can’t I think of her name? Obviously she’s my girl! I need more cappuccino! Molly? Millie? Polly? Holly?”
CORRECT. Holly Wheeler receives a cassette of ‘I Think We’re Alone Now’ from Henry Creel, AKA nefarious demon Vecna, who’s trapped her in the Abyss.
“If you had asked me to draw a sketch of her, I could do that! [Laughs] Here’s the deal: I’m jet-lagged on my fourth espresso, and I don’t even know my own name! But I do know a lot about monsters. When Holly stares at a picture of my debut album cover and says the line: ‘You’re a pop star, what do you know about monsters?’, I was like: ‘Have you seen some of my ex-boyfriends?! Excuse me ma’am, I do know a lot of monsters in real life!’. [Laughs] For a while Holly was getting a good ride in that dimension. There was the fashion, the ‘80s music, the food – it was looking good for her! She was working the Upside Down, I have to say!”
“I had no clue that Stranger Things, which I love, was going to include my music. I’d stopped work for the holidays, and my son was over having dinner. Suddenly my phone started pinging with messages saying, ‘Girl, you’re in Stranger Things’. We watched it together, which was fun because when he was in high school, we used to do ‘Sci-Fi Saturdays’ and watch sci-fi films together, so it was special.”
Which fictional pop star’s video do you appear in during a 2008 episode of the sitcom How I Met Your Mother?
“Oh, Robin Sparkles.”
CORRECT. The teen pop star alter-ego of Robin Scherbatsky (played by Cobie Smulders) is based on you. You sing back up on her second single ‘Sandcastles In The Sand’.
“That’s another point! [Laughs] It was a lot of fun to do, although they over-crimped my hair on set and it went poof [mimes hair exploding]. I said: ‘Are we filming with this hair?!’ But I played along, and I love Robin Sparkles. She’s a nudge and wink back to Tiffany, and they got it right. It was flattering to be included.”
The late James Van Der Beek also appears in the spoof promo. Did you get to work with him?
“I did. He was there, but I was only there for my section for a couple of hours, because I was flying out to perform a live show.”
In 2005, you appeared on ITV’s Hit Me, Baby, One More Time, a show where retro pop stars covered then-current songs. Who beat you in the grand final?
CORRECT. You covered Girls Aloud’s ‘Love Machine’ on the programme.
“It was fun show. And I loved Girls Aloud’s version of ‘I Think We’re Alone Now’. I’ve done that song in every way from ska to rock to country, so I get a kick out of people remaking it and finding their own version. There’s something about that song that makes people feel good. I don’t know what it is. It’s magic.”
In your 2011 hella-camp monster movie, Mega Python vs. Gatoroid, an animal rights activist is wearing a tour T-shirt emblazoned with which of your album covers?
“Hmmmm… I believe it’s ‘Hold An Old Friends Hand’?”
CORRECT. The title of your second album, released in 1988.
“We planted a lot of our friends in that movie! [Laughs] That was a tonne of fun to film. I love sci-fi. As a girl, I was a tomboy who loved climbing trees and pretending monsters were chasing me in my backyard, so to be actually doing something in the sci-fi world was perfect. When I got the call to do [2010’s] Mega Piranha originally, it sounded so cheesy, it was perfect. I had to be part of it. Then, of course, we topped it off with Mega Python vs. Gatoroid, adding [fellow ‘80s teen pop star] Debbie Gibson. We had a blast filming it and it solidified our friendship. For so many years, people would talk of a rivalry between us but it was never true.”
For younger readers: Gibson was presented as the Blur to your Oasis…
“Definitely! Later on, the press did the same thing with Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera. You always had Team Tiff and Team Deb, but we’re a sisterhood, and would defend each other because there’s a respect and love there. And fans see that now.”
What is the 1988 ‘Weird Al’ Yankovic parody of ‘I Think We’re Alone Now’ called?
“‘I Think I’m a Clone Now’.”
CORRECT.
“I’ve heard it and it’s funny. I dig him and it’s cool to be included in the ‘Weird Al‘ madness. I’m on a roll of luck with these answers! If I get the next one right, maybe I’ll go to Vegas after this! Ker-ching!”
The 2008 Weezer track ‘Heart Songs’ (paying tribute to the tracks that inspired him) namechecks ‘I Think We’re Alone Now’. But which pop star did frontman Rivers Cuomo mistakenly think it’s performed by?
“I spoke too soon! [Laughs] I don’t know.”
WRONG. Debbie Gibson! In the song, Cuomo sings: ‘Debbie Gibson, tell me that you think we’re all alone’
“Well, there’s a lot of aloneness there, because it’s all wrong! [Laughs] I do know Weezer have covered the song live. I’ve seen it on YouTube. Whenever friends have been to Weezer concerts, my phone has pinged. I didn’t know there was a Debbie Gibson reference in there, though. Good to know!”
Who’s the most unexpected person who’s turned out to be a fan of yours?
“The week after ‘I Think We’re Alone Now’ knocked Michael Jackson’s ‘Bad’ off the Number One spot [in the US], I went to his concert and thought he might not be all about it. But he was really supportive and said: ‘I really like your music. I think it’s great, and congratulations’. Back in the ‘80s, Elvis Costello was asked about one of my cuts called ‘Radio Romance’, and he said, ‘Tiffany sings the hell out of that record’*. Those moments are gems, because I grew up listening to him. When I met Alanis Morissette in Vegas at her show, she walked in and said: ‘You’re my O.G.!’”
*Costello claimed: ‘Tiffany’s my heroine. She’s godlike. I love that record.”
Name either of the two queens who lip-synced to you on RuPaul’s Drag Race in 2016.
“If I don’t get this one right, I’m going to be in big trouble! Was it Shangela or Alyssa Edwards? Because those two are my friends. If not, then why didn’t do they ‘I Think We’re Alone Now’?! [Laughs]”
WRONG. Jaidynn Diore Fierce and Ginger Minj.
“Oh, I did know Ginger Minj! That’s been brought up to me in conversation. I’m going to look it up on YouTube. In the early 1990s, I was invited to a drag show in Hollywood with Gypsy. They brought me up onstage to say hello to the audience, and then suddenly this drag queen came on as me as did an absolutely smashing performance of ‘I Think We’re Alone Now’, with all the right moves.”
Would you like to be a judge on Drag Race UK?
“I would lurrrve to. I’m so impressed by my drag queen lookalikes. I’m always taking notes from them.”
You cover of The Smiths’ ‘Panic’ appeared on various tribute albums, including 2007’s ‘Stop Me If You Think You’ve Heard this One Before’. Name four cities mentioned in its lyrics.
“Why are we doing this after a long flight when I have jet lag?! [She hums ‘Panic’] I’m rapidly trying to sing the song in my head and I’m just getting mush.”
WRONG. You could have had: London, Birmingham, Leeds, Carlisle, Dublin or Dundee.
“I was going to say Birmingham, because I lived there for a while!”
Did Morrissey or Johnny Marr ever hear it?
“I don’t know, but I recorded it for Cleopatra Records. So I know all the contracts! I know all the legal stuff, anyway! [Laughs]”
Talking of icons: you started out as a child performing with the likes of rock-pioneer Little Richard…
“I was only nine years old and my parents were there. I remember walking backstage where Jerry Lee Lewis and Little Richard were in the same room. Little Richard was playing on the piano and having me sing for him. It showed me how people lived and breathed their art. I wanted to be part of that world. I spent some time with Luther Vandross as well when I was 12, before I was signed. I got the chance to hang out with him, with him playing piano and shouting ‘Sing that line!’. We were singing cover versions and having fun. Being around those talents made a huge impression on me.”
Your single ‘Could’ve Been’ reached Number 4 on the UK Top 40 in 1987. Can you remember any of the three acts who placed above you?
“Well, I am a solo artist so I only cared about myself! [Laughs] Was Kim Wilde in there? She was a labelmate and is still my friend.”
WRONG. Alas, no! ‘Can I Play With Madness?’ by Iron Maiden at Number 3, ‘Drop the Boy’ by Bros at Number 2 or ‘Don’t Turn Around’ by Aswad at Number One.
“All my favourites! I’m a big Maiden fan. ‘I Think We’re Alone Now’ is fun and it makes people feel good, but ‘Could’ve Been’ showed my voice and upped the stakes. I fought for that song. The label didn’t want me to sing it. They thought it was too mature a song – for a teenager be singing about heartbreak. But I argued that if you’re 14 or 15 and you break up with someone, you think you’re never going to fall in love again. You think you’ll never recover. I won my case.”
In the Netflix superhero series The Umbrella Academy, the cast perform a choreographed sequence to ‘I Think We’re Alone Now’. Which emo frontman created the show?
“Ooh, er… I don’t know.”
WRONG. My Chemical Romance’s Gerard Way.
“Ah, you’re right! I need some sleep! [Laughs]. That was amazing and it’s always cool to see different takes on your songs.”
The verdict: 5/10
“I’m half-way there, so there you go! For having just been on a plane, I’m probably only half-way there now in my entire being – to be honest with you!”
Tiffany’s new book ‘POP LIFE: The Ultimate 80’s Kitchen Encore’ is released June 20, with pre-orders available from March 1.